Trial & ERROR

The lamp that started out so exciting and beautiful, which has caused so much stress, frustration and anger, has caused even more. At this point I have decided to just junk it. I will use the glass that I can salvage for something else in the future and begin fresh from the start.

In a perfect world, I would love to finish it just for the sake of finishing and not giving up, but unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world (at least I don't) and it is no longer worth the anxiety it has been causing me. In the process of taking out the broken pieces I have created more broken pieces. Now I am afraid that even if I replace those broken ones, that other pieces might be weak enough now that they will break when I am further along in the process and that will make me very angry and depressed.

So... to avoid these negative feelings, I am going to start over. Don't worry, Heather, it is fine with me. I am happy to start over. I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Just the thought of starting again makes me feel so much better. And I promise, this time it won't take me 2 years.

Who knows, maybe someday I will create a beautiful work of art from all the broken/extra pieces like these:

I have certainly had a lot of trouble with this lamp, but I have learned a lot. I guess all I can do is take the experience from this and improve in the future. It takes a lot of mistakes to become good at something, right?

Maybe I got some bad glass? Yeah!...I think I'll go with that. ;)

Cardinal in Winter

Here is the second window I made. I created the pattern myself from a picture.

I love the purple sky in the background. It makes me think of dark, stormy days in the fall or winter. I also love the three golden leaves still clinging to the tree and the texture of the glass I used for the branches.

Red Rock Landscape

This is the first stained glass window that I ever made. I used a pattern, but I think it turned out pretty good for my first one.

The colors are a bit on the extreme side, but I like it that way.

It was while making this that I realized I love making stained glass windows and wanted to continue making them!

Fall Aspen Trees

I am still working on trying to repair the lampshade that I previously posted about. However, in the meantime I thought I would show some of my past work.

This is a picture of my third stained glass window, but the first one that I completely designed myself. I came up with the idea, drew the pattern, and then made the window. It took me what seemed like FOREVER to finish this with school and work and the many, many small pieces involved.

I have always loved going to the mountains to see the beautiful aspen trees in the fall. No matter how many times I do, I never get tired of the beauty of them. The bright yellow (and sometimes pink...weird, I know) is absolutely amazing. It never ceases to surprise me that something in nature could be so bright and colorful. And every year they seem to be brighter and more beautiful than they were in my memory.

I plan to continue the tradition of making as many trips as I can up into the mountains each fall, every year, for the rest of my life. But for the rest of the year, I love having this to look at.

Fighting the urge to cry...

So...I don't really know what to say, other than my lampshade cracked. I have been obsessing over getting it absolutely perfect. I struggle with being a perfectionist when it comes to things I make, but I have been even more so on this project because I am making it for my sister.

I had it all soldered and was cleaning it. While cleaning it I decided that it wasn't good enough and could use some more work. So I started doing some more soldering, trying to make the seams smoother and BAM! or I guess CRACK!!!! would be a better description. The crack went across a whole piece almost. I was really upset about this crack. After all the work and time I have spent on this lamp for it to happen at this point is just disappointing.

I spent last night trying to calm myself down. It's not the end of the world I told myself. I am usually pretty good at shrugging things off. I mean, what can I do? It happened. Unless I can go back in time there is no changing that fact. I convinced myself that it wasn't that bad of a crack. I thought I might even be able to ignore it and just finish the lamp and be done. That was the plan.

This morning, I set at it again. I started to clean it. Things weren't looking so bad and what do you think happened?? CRRRRAAAAAACKKK!!! One of the pieces around the bottom broke. And this one was even worse than the one from last night. It's moments like that, that I get so angry I imagine myself picking up the entire shade and shattering it on the ground. But...of course I didn't. What good would that do?

I have kind of calmed myself down at this point. The rational side of me is saying, "Look Amelia, it's not the end of the world. You can take a few steps back, take out the broken pieces, and then resolder them together." But the unrational side of me is trying to convince the rational side that it is indeed the end of the world. I think the rational side will overcome the other in the end.

So...that is the situation at this point. I will attempt to take out the broken pieces and replace those. And then start over from there. Before I do that I am going to go get a new soldering iron. I think that is the problem. The one I currently have gets too hot and that is what is causing the glass to crack...hopefully.

Stay tuned, and hopefully my next post will be better news! Cross your fingers for me!